Courtesy

Two whites and four reds are currently on sale for $20 a pop.

Mike Pomranz
November 16, 2018

Full disclosure: I’ve never played any of the Assassin’s Creed video games. By the time the first one came out in 2007, my gaming days were over beyond the occasional match of Wii Tennis. But it’s certainly a testament to the franchise that even a non-gamer like me has heard of it: It’s had around 20 iterations across consoles, computers, handhelds, and smartphones, and inspired a 2016 movie, as well as books and a board game. But even if you aren’t into any of that, this news might inspire you to get your first taste of Assassin’s Creed – literally. The video game brand has launched its own line of wines.

Ubisoft, the company behind the franchise, has teamed up with Lot18, who has produced all sorts of entertainment wine tie-ins from Lord of the Rings wines to Saturday Night Live wines. For that reason, though this announcement will likely excite Assassin’s Creed fans, in some ways, it’s just business as usual.

The collection features six different varieties in all – each inspired by a different character and featuring a specially designed label. The two available whites are a 2017 “Aveline de Grandpré” Appellation Côtes du Rhône Contrôlée and a 2017 “Arno Dorian” Qualitätswein Niederösterreich Zweigelt. The four reds are a 2017 “Altaïr Ibn-La’ahad” Loire Valley IGP Cabernet Franc, a 2015 “Bayek of Siwa” Spanish Tempranillo, a 2016 “Connor” Horse Heaven Hills Cabernet Sauvignon, and a 2015 “Ezio Auditore” Super Tuscan Red Blend. (For the record, I’ve added the quotation marks to separate the character names from the wine names which is actually trickier to discern than you may think!)

All the wines can be bought online at Lot18.com/AssassinsCreed. Each of the individual bottles costs $20 (which seems a bit odd seeing as the collection covers such a wide range of styles, but whatever). You can also buy all six varieties in one half-case for the discounted price of $108.

Meanwhile, the big question is always what connects these wines (or any novelty wines really) to the property they’ve been matched with. It’s not like these Assassin’s Creed wines were aged during the Third Crusade or something.  Of course, Lot18 makes the big bucks by penning hopefully convincing descriptions like “Sourced from Ezio’s birthplace of Tuscany, this red is charming and charismatic, like the Renaissance hero himself, displaying flavors of cherry and red plum on the palate.” Yes, it’s a big hokey, but then again, no one ever said gaming was supposed to be that serious either.

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