Credit: © Alex Eben

James Beard Award-nominated podcaster and radio host Dan Pashman is very opionated when it comes to food. He insists that a well-constructed sandwich requires frictional ingredients, that the ideal first bite of a sandwich is the corner of a right triangle and that trail mix is best eaten as individual bites and not by the handful. He emphasizes such guidelines for his new book Eat More Better, in which he delves into techniques for eating and drinking that most of us have never considered but probably should. One of the most useful items is Pashman’s examination of the perfect buzz at a wedding. Most of us don’t want to end up barely able to stand, demanding a dance from the mother of the bride during a medley of TLC songs. And if you follow Pashman’s ideal timeline you never will. “You want to go from 0 to well-buzzed very quickly during the cocktail hour,” he explains. From there it’s about hitting peak drunk as the meal comes out and then calling it quits just before dessert. The biggest advantage to following Pashman’s drinking timeline? “You go to bed not drunk. You don’t want to go to bed drunk,” he says.
If you need a visual aid, he has diagrammed the whole thing below.