Like mother like son.

By Corey Williams
Updated February 19, 2020
COREY WILLIAMS, AMAZON

My 5-month-old kitten, Jude, is a wonderful, adorable, precious, perfect little nightmare.

You know Sour Patch Kids’ “sour-then-sweet” tagline? That’s not just an advertising gimmick to Jude—it’s a lifestyle.

COREY WILLIAMS, CARSON WILLIAMS

Here’s an incomplete list of his favorite activities:

  1. Tearing up the carpet
  2. Cuddling
  3. Waking at 3 a.m. to run wildly from one side of the room to the other
  4. More cuddling
  5. Using my forearm as a 2-in-1 punching bag/scratching post

Let’s talk about Activity #5: It’s horrific. It’s also slightly impressive. The transition from sleeping peacefully on my arm to tearing it to shreds is so seamless, you’d think he’d been professionally trained in kickboxing.

If you’re a cat owner, you may be all-too-aware that this habit isn’t unique to Jude.

Bunny kicking, as it’s called, is when a cat lies on its side, grabs onto an object (ideally, the object is a toy and not an appendage), and kicks with its rear legs. This act is usually playful, though it can be aggressive.

RelatedWhat Is Catnip—And Does It Work on People?  

Fortunately, aggression is the least of my worries when it comes to Jude. He’s about as scary as a rainbow wrapped in cotton candy.

But just because he’s having fun doesn’t mean these attacks don’t hurt like hell.

There are toys made specifically for bunny kicking, yes, but Jude has no interest in them.

A few weeks ago, it seemed like there was no light at the end of the tunnel. I thought I was forever doomed to look like I’d just fought my way through a briar patch, and, honestly, I was OK with that. Jude’s worth it.

Enter these plush wine bottles filled with silvervine, a totally safe catnip-like feline attractant.

Amazon

To buy: $20, amazon.com

The result of an Amazon shopping spree (inspired by human wine), this Twin Critters product has saved everything below my right elbow.

Since they’re far bigger than the average cat toy, Jude is able to latch onto one bottle using all four legs and kick to his little heart’s content.

As much as I love them for their functionality, I can’t say I’m not also a fan of the aesthetics. When he holds his bottles of “Meowbec” and “Dom Purrignon,” Jude looks like the classy little gent he is. 

Amazon

Because nothing is truly perfect, there is one tiny issue I’d be remiss not to report: Each “bottle” comes with a zipper, which allows you to easily refill the toy with catnip or silvervine as it loses its potency.

Now, I don’t think this zipper would present a problem for most cat owners. But where most cats would see a zipper, Jude sees a challenge.

Though it’s certainly not a deal breaker (he’s only emptied the bottle once and it was an easy cleanup), parents of similarly destructive cats should be aware of the potential messes.

The bottles come in packs of two and will set you back $20. That may seem like a lot to pay for cat toys, but considering the size of the things, really isn’t that bad.

Plus, you can’t put a price tag on a wine night with your best friend.

This story originally appeared on MyRecipes.

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