Jerky

Slice the meat with the grain as thin as humanly possible. Mix the brine ingredients in a large, sturdy, resealable freezer bag. Placing the bag inside a large piece of Tupperware will make this easier. Add meat strips to the brine. Seal the bag, working out as much air as possible. Lay bag flat in a roasting pan or sheet pan and refrigerate for 3 to 6 hours.

Remove the meat from the brine and drain. Discard the brine. When the meat is dry, place inside Blo-hard 3000 and set fan to medium. Alternatively, heat oven to lowest setting and place the strips directly on oven racks. Use a blob of foil as a wedge to hold the oven door ajar. Oven-dry the jerky overnight or until the meat reaches the desirable texture.

Store the jerky in a resealable plastic bag on in a cool dark place for 30 or 40 years, or until fuzzy stuff starts to grow on it.