Credit: © Abbe Baker

Like Socrates’ “What is love?” or Shaggy 2 Dope’s equally profound “Magnets, how do they work?” some questions hang over the collective head of humanity, seemingly too challenging to answer. Ahead of the holiday weekend, I decided to take on one of those quandaries: Why aren’t we grilling our doughnuts?

It seems so obvious—we throw everything we can possibly think of on the grill, so adding a crisp crust to a Krispy Kreme should make for an epic dessert.

But obviously, all doughnuts are not created equal, so to do further delicious research, I put several varieties to the test. And because I live in a New York City apartment, I used my grill pan. And because eating multiple doughnuts alone with my cat is a Kathy comic no one should be forced to experience in real life, I had some friends over to taste-test.

Here's what we found out:

Fresh glazed doughnut: "Wow, this DOES taste different!" expressed my delighted comrade. Grilling a fresh glazed doughnut would offer one of the subtlest differences of the five varieties we tried, with the glaze melting just ever so slightly.

Store-bought chocolate glazed doughnut: There's something nostalgic about the store-bought chocolate-iced doughnut. I found that a grilled version of it is particularly delightful, albeit slightly sticky, as a bit of the chocolate came off on the grill pan.

Fresh glazed doughnut with icing: As a New York Giants fan, I chose Dunkin’s blue, red and white iced doughnut. Like that other New York football team, it was an instant mess. The icing melted (duh), creating a hard sugar exterior. The flavor was acceptable, though, if you like that burnt sugar taste—a doughnut brûlée, if you will.

Store-bought cake doughnut: This one was not particularly interesting. It tastes like grilled cake. Top it with whipped cream and some fresh fruit and call it a day.

Store-bought crumb cake doughnut: Hands down, my favorite. Yes, some of the crumbs stuck to the pan, so I had to scoop them up to taste it, but you guys: It's like Christmas in my mouth. Seriously. I'd eat this all the time.

Next up: Grilled Boston Creams. Because I am now afraid of nothing.