This just in, thanks to the ever-inquisitive folks at wine lees slows the melting rate of ice cream. In fact, thanks to the even-more-inquisitive folks at the Chung-Hwa University of Medical Technology, National Kaohsiung Hospitality College, and Asia University in Taiwan, we can now state that adding wine lees to your super-duper-fudge-
ripple-chunk or what have you will not only slow its melting rate by up to 80 percent (!), it will also increase its anti-oxidant activity! In fact, a distinct increase in the DPPH radical scavenging activity was observed! Holy obscure chemistry terms, Batman!

The good professors do note, however, that adding too much grape lees did also show unpleasant effects, such as "an increase of particle size of fat globule."

Hm. To the tune of "Raindrops Keep Fallin' on my Head: "Fat drops keep slidin' cross your lips, but that doesn't mean the ice cream's too gross to's only mixed with lees...'cause we need tenure and our clone was a failure...da da da..."

It's been a long morning.