Customers who can show they messed up their bird will receive a $35 gift card to the grocer.

By Mike Pomranz
November 10, 2020
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Not that it’s fun to screw up any meal, but the one dinner home cooks really don’t want to get wrong is Thanksgiving. As far as food-centric holidays go, it’s the biggest of the year. (No offense, National Burrito Day.) And yet, regrettably enough, for many, Thanksgiving is the only day of the year they’ll actually cook a whole turkey—leaving experience and confidence low when expectations are at their highest.

So to start, you may want to read our How to Cook a Thanksgiving Turkey guide. But in lieu of that, this year, Whole Foods is offering cooks a safety net—their new Thanksgiving Turkey Protection Plan—and the grocer has even teamed up with Progressive for this “turkey insurance.”

Credit: Whole Foods

Billed as the “first-ever” insurance for a Thanksgiving turkey—despite the fine print stating that its “not an actual insurance product,” of course—the gist of the plan is that if you buy a Whole Foods brand turkey and then something goes wrong on Turkey Day, you’re eligible to receive a $35 gift card to Whole Foods as compensation.

“As we anticipate more smaller Thanksgiving gatherings and first-time cooks tackling turkey preparation this year, the Thanksgiving Turkey Protection Plan allows customers the freedom of culinary exploration, knowing all is not lost should their cooking go astray,” Theo Weening, Whole Food’s vice president of meat and poultry, said announcing the promotion. “We want to help customers rise to the occasion and take on that turkey with confidence for less-stressed Thanksgiving meal preparation.”

Needless to say, every insurance comes with terms, and this Whole Foods/Progressive deal is no exception. Shoppers need to purchase an eligible Whole Foods Market uncooked whole Thanksgiving turkey between November 11 and 22. Then, if something goes wrong, a claim has to be submitted before November 27, including a receipt, a photo of the fail, and an explanation of the problem. That said, digging deeper into the terms, a “turkey fail” is described as any turkey that “is burnt, over cooked, undercooked, over seasoned, under seasoned or dry.” So it’s pretty broad. And even then, only the first 1,000 eligible claims will be accepted—which may be the biggest catch that separates this deal from a real insurance policy.

Still, as far as promotions go, the idea of being protected in case of a turkey blunder is a fun way to relax your nerves. Plus, another part of real insurance is that, hopefully, you never have to use it. So maybe there will be enough gift cards to go around for every fail—because how many people want to spend Black Friday committing turkey insurance fraud?