By Noah Kaufman
Updated March 13, 2015
© Brian Radle

The Internet is a black hole for strange, weird and wonderful things—especially when it comes to food. Rather than dive in yourself, let FWx do it for you. Here, five of the most absurd food items we saw this week.

Krispy Kreme Bacon Hot Dog

Does your minor league baseball attendance need a shot in the arm? Just roll out a possibly heart attack-inducing bacon-covered hot dog in a Krispy Kreme bun. The doughnut dog is coming to the menu of the Wilmington Delaware Blue Rocks, a single A affiliate of the Kansas City Royals. The team is also giving fans a chance to name this monster with a contest that runs until March 17. [Time]

Girl Scout Cookie Beer

We already told how to pair your Thin Mints with beer, but what if your Thin Mints just were the beer. Woods Beer Company in San Francisco has five different cookie beers: Samoale (a coconut-caramel cocoa nib dubbel), the Brew-ski-do (a peanut butter cream ale), the Thick Mint (a peppermint-cocoa nib porter), the Hopalong (a peanut butter-chocolate nitro stout) and Beerfoil (a shortbread golden ale). The beers are sold out online, but are available at the brewery. [Eater]

The 14 Layer Burger

Size clearly matters to Mos Burger in Japan. Their Tokyo Tower burger is 14 layers high and the tallest they have ever made. It has two buns, two patties, lettuce, chili sauce, chopped onions, fried onions, tomato, mayo, ketchup and pastrami bacon. If that’s not quite enough for you, they also offer an extra layer of cheese. [Japan Times]

Paul Deen Video Game

This may be the single most important cooking video game since BurgerTime. Paula Deen is out with a new video game for your phone or tablet. Players will “learn the basics of home cooking,” which presumably include frying your butter in butter with a butter compote. [LA Times]

McDonald’s Bringing in Kale

What do you do when no one wants to buy your fast food anymore? Start adding trendy items to the menu. Except McDonald’s picked a trend from 2012. Inside sources say the Golden Arches “plans to roll out kale as an ingredient in its restaurants in the not-too-distant future.” Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun…and kale. Just doesn’t have the same ring to it. [CNN]