By Justine Sterling
Updated September 11, 2015
© iStockphoto

The Internet is a black hole for strange, weird and wonderful things—especially when it comes to food. Rather than dive in yourself, let FWx do it for you. Here, five of the most absurd food items we saw this week.

Chipotle Burrito Pizza: We’ve figured out how we want to die: eating a burrito-and-bacon-stuffed pizza burrito. Someone attempting to be the Dr. Kevorkian of food recently posted step-by-step instructions for making the monstrosity on Imgur. It involves a large cheese pizza, two pounds of bacon, three Chipotle burritos and shredded cheese to act as a “laminate.” [Eater]

Savory Drinkable Yogurt: When it comes to yogurt, what do you want? According to Blue Hill, you want it to be drinkable and you want it to be tomato-flavored. Blue Hill, which is co-owned by NYC chef and innovator Dan Barber, is making a line of savory drinkable yogurts flavored with vegetables like carrot, beet, parsnip and butternut squash. They should hit the market in January. [Food Navigator]

Honey-Flavored Fungus: If savory yogurt isn’t your thing, maybe sweet fungus is. Well, you’re in luck, because there’s a Hungarian white truffle that tastes like honey. The sugary-sweet but still umami-packed honey truffle is used in desserts like ice creams and cakes, as well as savory pastas. [Sploid]

Fashionable Beansprouts: Sprouts aren’t only trending in foodie circles. They’re also the new “it” hair accessories in China. Fashion-forward, Chinese earth children are clipping sprouts into hairpins and affixing them to their heads in order to create the illusion that they are sprouting greenery. Look for the trend at your next music festival. [First We Feast]

Green Gummy Bears Are Strawberry-Flavored: Boom! Your gummy bear–loving mind has just been shattered. Green Haribo gummy bears are not lime-flavored or even green apple–flavored. They’re strawberry. It’s like a real life M. Night Shyamalan twist. [Foodbeast]