By Noah Kaufman
Updated August 15, 2014
Roasted Bananas with Spiced Syrup and Candied Nuts
Credit: © John Kernick

The Internet is a black hole for strange, weird and wonderful things—especially when it comes to food. Rather than dive in yourself, let FWx do it for you. Here, five of the most absurd food items we saw this week.

Meat popsicles: How do you get protein during a heat wave? The obvious answer is chicken popsicles. This summer, the Zenyaren restaurant in Japan began serving their yakitori frozen in a block of collagen, which, according to inventor Koma Izuma, preserves their barbecue flavor and is good for your skin. [Yahoo UK]

Ramen pizza: Just when you think we’ve hit peak ramen, someone finds another way to smash it into one of your favorite foods. The good folks over at Thrillist have turned packaged ramen noodles into crispy pizza crust. Gone are the days of kneading and tossing your dough. This is the ultimate dish for the lazy or the drunk. Or the lazy and drunk. [Thrillist]

Spaghetti in a meatball: Eating spaghetti and meatballs can be a messy proposition—twirling the noodles, stabbing the meatball and trying to shove it all in your mouth before it falls off the fork. Jenn Arata is simplifying things by putting the pasta inside the meatball. The meatball weighs in at three pounds to feed the whole family. [Buzzfeed]

Banana Pump: The website for the Argentinean Destapa Banana reads: “Why eat a boring empty banana when you can have one filled with passion?” That’s either a bad English translation or the best logline for a food porn we’ve ever seen. The actual Destapa Banana contraption is both crazy and brilliant. It pulls the center out of a banana and injects it with chocolate, dulce de leche, or whatever other sweet filling your heart desires. We were dubious that anyone could pull the center out of an unpeeled banana but after watching this video we’re believers. [Food Beast]

Vegetable Massage: Speaking of borderline NSFW food items, here’s the oddest use of vegetables you’ll run into. A Japanese woman is trying to enlarge her bust by rubbing summer vegetables on it. According to Ryoko “summer vegetables, which have grown under the influence of the summer sun, are thought to have very good properties for breast enhancement.” Hey, if the Destapa Banana works, anything is possible. [Rocket News]

(NOTE: While you might get odd looks for watching it, there is no actual nudity involved)