By Justine Sterling
Updated February 13, 2015

The Internet is a black hole for strange, weird and wonderful things—especially when it comes to food. Rather than dive in yourself, let FWx do it for you. Here, five of the most absurd food items we saw this week.

Marmite Body Paint: Chocolate in the bedroom? Sure. Whipped cream in the boudoir? You betcha. How about yeasty, funky Marmite? The company behind England’s favorite pungent spread announced that they are working on Marmite body paint in partnership with some London sex shops. According to Metro, sex store customers have been demanding the product for a while. Yeah, that sounds likely. [Metro]

Brisket Fat Ice Cream: Move over, bacon, because brisket is about to jump the shark. Pennsylvania chef Chad Rosenthal recently created smoked brisket fat blackberry ice cream. It’s available at The Lucky Well, his barbecue restaurant in Ambler, PA. [Eater]

DIY Real Candy Hearts: This Valentine’s Day, don’t just get your lover some weak, heart-shaped chocolates. Make him or her homemade heart-shaped candies made out of real cow heart. It doesn’t get more metal than that. [Instructables]

Female Viagra-Spiked Ice Cream: Just a regular bowl of ice cream is exciting enough to get us in the mood, but apparently some people need more. Enter Vice Cream: chocolate ice cream laced with Lady Prelox, a plant-based female stimulator. [Metro]

$761 Peanut Butter: You might expect a $761 jar of peanut butter to be flecked with gold or fifty years old or previously owned by Andre the Giant, but no. This crazy-expensive jar of peanut butter created by the National Institute of Standards and Technology is simply the world’s most perfect peanut butter. It is not made to be eaten but instead used as the gold standard to which all other peanut butters are held. [Eater]