By Noah Kaufman
Updated May 15, 2015
Credit: © AF archive / Alamy

The Internet is a black hole for strange, weird and wonderful things—especially when it comes to food. Rather than dive in yourself, let FWx do it for you. Here, five of the most absurd food items we saw this week.

Flamin’ Hot Cheeto Burger
Stuck in a condiment rut? Carl’s Jr. has just the thing to pull you out: a burger topped with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. A Twitter tipster spotted an ad for the burger in Southern California and subsequent comments said it is currently testing throughout the Los Angeles area. If orange dust atop a burger isn’t quite extreme enough for you, they just announced yet another monstrosity: the hot dog-topped “Most American Thickburger.” Just in time for swimsuit season! [Wreckless Eating]

40,000-Calorie Quesarito
Carl’s Jr. may not own the title of most questionable food decision of the week. The guys from Epic Meal Time made a strong play at the title with their epic Quesarito—that is, a quesadilla wrapped around a burrito. The giant work of stoner food art has 40,000 calories. That must be almost twice the calories in the quesarito from Taco Bell. [Epic Meal Time]

Indiana Jones Bar
After last week’s news that aStar Wars restaurant would open at Disney World, the park doubled down on the work of Harrison Ford with the announcement of an Indiana Jones-themed bar called Jock Lindsey’s Hanger Bar. The menu will include rolling boulder meatballs and presumably no snake. We hate snakes. [Eater]

Macaroni Foils Crooks
If you’re going to steal from a restaurant, make sure what you appropriately seal what you pilfer. That is the big takeaway after police followed a “steady trail of macaroni salad” to find three thieves who robbed the newly opened Build-A-Burger restaurant in Mount Morris, NY. What do they want with macaroni salad, anyway? Everyone knows the fries are better. [Time]

Soy Sauce for Pudding
What do you like to do with soy sauce? Something boring like use it for sushi? Lame. Try using it to top custard, specifically purin, a Japanese variety similar to flan. According to Rocket News, there is an old urban legend that says putting soy sauce on purin makes the custard taste exactly like sea urchin, so soy sauce brewery Goto Shoyu developed a version that supposedly pairs perfectly and actually pulls off the flavor transformation. The sauce goes on sale soon, so if there are any daring purin fans out there, buy a bottle and let us know if it works. [Rocket News]