Seitan sacrilege

By Danica Lo
Updated June 12, 2017
vegan brisket
Credit: Courtesy of V-Eats Modern Vegan

Defending the sanctity of meats everywhere, people on the internet have been getting very riled up over the past few days. The cause of this outrage? Vegan brisket, as served by Dallas eatery V Eats. Yup, that's right, vegan seitan brisket.

The whole brouhaha kicked off last week, when the Dallas Observer's food and drink editor Beth Rankin reviewed the new, self-dubbed "modern vegan" restaurant. She ordered a tortilla-crusted faux chicken dish, macaroni and "cheese," and brisket tacos.

"The brisket is made of seitan, the chicken-fried steak is made with breadfruit, and the salmon sushi is made with a curious pink 'meat' that was somewhat translucent and mostly flavorless," she writes. "The brisket—which comes in a slide, taco, or sandwich—did not, on its own, immediately bring the warm fattiness of classic brisket to mind, particularly texturally, but on tacos, it made for a fun and tangy bite that was reminiscent of beef. It's not going to fool a pitmaster, but it is something I'd order again."

That's when the internet went collectively off a cliff.

"NO! As a meat eater I tolerate people's choice to be vegetarian or vegan, but don't you dare insult brisket by naming a non-meat product brisket!" writes Matthew Cobb on the restaurant's Facebook page. "Brisket is the epitome of Texas BBQ and all that is meat! So please find another name. This is not brisket!"

Meanwhile, over on Twitter, "vegan brisket" is invoking carnivorous ire across the board.

User Michelle tweets: "Vegan brisket has set my outrage machine to 11."

And tweeter Lizilicious calls the whole endeavor an oxymoron:

For their part, the restaurant has issued a statement via its Facebook page: "We stopped eating [meat], because we don't like the idea of killing animals for food. We make alternatives to mimic meat, because we want to eat familiar dishes without having to kill animals. Your arguments aren't new to us. We hear them all the time."