Your Ideal Ugly Sweater, Based on Your Favorite Holiday Treat
In 2018, when pumpkin spice season starts in August, big-box stores begin to mark down prices (and notify shoppers about them) on November 1, and Black Friday is now a week-long event, it's easy to forget what the holidays are really about: outdoing your friends. And, if you happen to be invited to an ugly sweater party this year, there's no better way to make that happen than by showing up in the loudest, most pom-pom-bedecked, aesthetically confusing piece of knitwear you can get your hands on. Preferably one that serves as an homage to your favorite holiday treat, so you can stand out in a sea of Santa/reindeer/elf sweaters and silently stake your claim at the snack table.
Are Latkes Potatoes Who Have Unlocked Their True Potential?
Do you like latkes a la—
Do you like latkes a lat—
Are latkes your thing? Here is a very cute sentient potato pancake imploring you to live your best life.
Live Laugh Latke Hanukkah Sweater, $28, target.com.
Does Ranch Transcend Seasons?
Is ranch a holiday-specific food? Highly debatable. Is dunking your pizza crust in ranch a good idea 365 days of the year? Yes, for sure.
Holiday Sweatshirt, $50, hiddenvalleyranch.orders.com.
Are Gingerbread Men > All Other Cookies?
Run, run, run as fast as you can...you probably can't catch this little gingerbread dude because he is shredded.
Gingerbread Man Roid Rage Christmas Sweater by Tipsy Elves, $50, amazon.com.
Will You Defend Fruitcake to the Death?
Yours is a noble position. Telegraph it to the world via seasonal knitwear.
Fruitcake Ugly Christmas Sweater, $26, amazon.com.
Are Tacos the Perfect Food?
Santa agrees with you, according to this festive sweater.
The Gift of Tacos Sweater by 33 Degrees, $40, target.com.
Is December One Long Happy Hour?
It's only fitting that a man so committed to his red suit prefers red wine.
Merlothoho Santa Sweater, $28, target.com.
If you have a competitive streak, why not pick up two wearable beer pong tables and challenge the first person who pretends to grab a red solo cup from your sweater while saying "don't mind if I do!"
Beer Pong Sweater, $49, tipsyelves.com.
Does Gelt Taste Like Sweet Victory?
Your dreidel opponents have been warned.
Gelt Digger Sweater, $54, tipsyelves.com.
Are You #TeamEggnog?
You don't care if your holiday drink of choice is somewhat divisive. More 'nog for you.
Eggnog Wasted Hoodie by Shirt Saloon, $34, etsy.com.