By Mike Pomranz
Updated January 27, 2016
Credit: Courtesy of T-Mobile

The wireless network wars have really heated up lately. Every time I turn on the TV, I see another commercial featuring a bunch of rolling balls – which, apparently, is the worst insult one mobile company can sling at another these days.

But T-Mobile has more than a bunch of rolling magenta balls up their sleeve. Instead, the cellular company decided to try to recruit new users one liver at a time by offering up rules for a drinking game – intended to be played during AT&T’s quarterly earnings call on Monday.

Though T-Mobile promoted a similar drinking game last week for the Verizon earnings call – meaning someone over in their marketing department must think these are good ideas – T-Mobile’s intended target audience for all this alcohol indulgence isn’t inherently obvious. Though I’m sure plenty of the Wall Street investor types who actually listen to earning calls certainly had their frat boy boozing days, an earnings calls probably isn’t the right time to relive those glory days. And for the rest of us, let’s just say if you’re desperately looking for a reason to drink, there are still several days of Australian Open tennis left.

And while the concept of drinking to emphasize the overuse of corporate buzzwords is an intriguing concept, some parts of the promotion simply seem disingenuous. “AT&T and Verizon have lots in common: more love for accountants and lawyers than customers, a fear of T-Mobile and terribly boring and jargon-heavy earnings calls (to name just a few),” T-Mobile said announcing the promotion.

As if a publicly-traded, German-owned telecommunications giant like T-Mobile doesn’t also need things like accountants, lawyers and earnings calls. In fact, T-Mobile US has their Q4 2015 Earnings Release scheduled for February 17. Drink if you don’t plan on listening in.