A ‘Simpsons’ Writer Shared an Original Script For the 'Steamed Hams' Scene
For those who aren’t Simpsons aficionados, “Steamed Hams” is an odd but nevertheless hilarious reference that occurs in the show’s season seven episode “22 Short Films About Springfield.” The scene-length joke is from the nearly three-minute "Skinner & The Superintendent” segment, which sees Springfield Elementary School’s principal Seymour Skinner cooking a meal for Superintendent Chalmers. When Skinner inadvertently burns his roast before his guest arrives, he devises a plan to disguise fast food from the Krusty Burger across the street as his own cooking. Unsurprisingly, the plan does not play out smoothly, with Skinner first claiming that he and the early arrived Superintendent are going to eat “steamed clams” before presenting his overly suspicious and highly critical guest with a tray of “steamed hams,” which he states is what people in Albany call burgers.
Last fall the joke saw renewed interest when a user posted in what is now a highly upvoted Reddit thread a Guitar Hero remix of the scene, which incorporates the visual, playable elements of the well-known video game. That video influenced several other remixes, including “Steamed Hams But Every Time Skinner Lies He Descends 7% More into the Netherworld” and “Steamed Hams translated in to Chinese and then back in to English on Google translate,” essentially creating a giant meme-chain, helping the joke and the recent videos it inspired go viral. It should be noted that this is not the first time the food joke has gotten internet traction. “Steamed hams” has been a fan favorite scene for years, and even had a hilarious 2016 run-in with Woolworth’s when around a 1,000 people inundated the Australian grocery chain’s Facebook page with comments asking if they sold “Steamed Hams.”
Now, the episode segment’s writer Bill Oakley has taken to Twitter, showing his appreciation for the fans’ undying love for “Steamed Hams” by posting the original script to his account.
Below, you can see the initial dialogue and scene descriptions, which feature a number of small changes from the final version so many people know and love. That includes the mention of Skinner’s luncheon, which was originally a dinner, and no proud proclamation from Chalmers that Skinner can “steam a good ham.”
If you want to read the entire draft, you can view every page of the script and all its changes in Oakley’s Twitter thread.