Courtesy of HAPI
| Credit: © HAPILABS

Paleo, Atkins, raw vegan—forget all the fad diets. The secret to losing weight may be in your choice of fork.

Meet the HAPIfork—a high-tech utensil that helps monitor and control your eating habits. Much as a pedometer can track your travel, this electronic utensil (I’m just going to go ahead and coin the term “e-tensil” right now; you can hear from my lawyers later) tracks how long it took you to eat, bites per minute and time between bites. Your fork then sends this information to an “online dashboard” by USB or Bluetooth—because what utensil doesn’t have Bluetooth?! (We’re looking at you, knife!)

The makers of HAPIfork claim that eating too fast can cause weight gain, digestive problems, gastric reflux and postoperative complications. Their assumption is that by syncing your HAPIfork with their app designed to coach you into better eating habits, you can get any problem tendencies under control.

But the HAPIfork does more than collect data and send it to your phone. It also takes an active role in attempting to change your eating habits. If you eat too fast, the fork responds with flashing “indicator lights” and “gentle vibration”—a.k.a. a zap. Sure, diners won’t be yelling out, “Don’t tase me, bro!” but there must be a fan fiction piece in which the earliest version of Skynet is a set of cutlery that puts human beings in their place.

Although it seems like an easy cheat is to just switch to foods that can be eaten with a spoon.