RIP $5 Footlong
It’s one of the most successful ad campaigns of the past decade—and by successful, I mean anyone caught in its siren song may never be able to shake the TV commercials from their subconscious. I’m speaking of Subway $5 Footlongs. (Please take a moment to try not to sing the jingle in your head.)
But earlier this week, an era came to an end, not with a bang, but with a tweet (which is I guess where eras end nowadays). “BREAKING NEWS,” wrote the @Subway account. “Starting February 4th ALL of your favorite classic footlongs are $6.” Needless to say, $5 Footlong addicts saw this announcement as something akin to “BREAKING NEWS: Starting February 4th ALL of the same stuff is going to cost you MORE MONEY.”
As any armchair economist will tell you, things tend to get more expensive over time, a point that a Subway spokesman made clear on their Facebook page. “We first launched the $5 footlong way back in 2007 and in the last 9 years our costs have gone up greatly and inflation has eroded the value of everyone’s dollar,” the sandwich chain wrote. “But we are always looking for new ways to bring fans great tasting subs at a great value so we’re introducing the $6 All Classic Footlong Event for the entire month of February.”
I know, as much as the explanation makes sense, it doesn’t ease the pain. But thankfully, it’s an election year. Who’s going to solve this problem? Bernie Sanders? Ted Cruz? Who’s pro–cold cut subsidies?