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Forget all that royal etiquette about how to hold a teacup. The royal family's coolest couple might be throwing a rager.

Elisabeth Sherman
May 16, 2018

The rumors are true: Meghan and Harry truly are the coolest kids in the castle. Rumors have surfaced that instead of hosting a stodgy tea party with doilies for place settings, the more modern-minded royals have decided to throw a tiki-themed bash, complete with tropical cocktails as their wedding afterparty.

According to tabloid rumors (which you should take with a grain of salt in all honesty; remember what happened with those photos of her dad reading a picture book about England?) Prince Harry requested that the wedding’s after-afterparty pay homage to one of his favorite London clubs, Mahiki.

Prince Harry used to be quite the committed party boy, until naked pictures of him in a Vegas hotel room surfaced back in 2012, leading to an international scandal which forced him to turn a new leaf. Harry has since cleaned up his act, becoming one of the best-loved royals of the bunch, but perhaps he hasn’t entirely shaken off his wild side.

The party will take place at Frogmore House, and Prince Harry’s father, Prince Charles will apparently be paying for the whole affair. A much more formal reception, hosted by Queen Elizabeth at Windsor Castle, will take place after the wedding ceremony at St. George’s Chapel.

Only 200 people—the couple’s so-called inner circle—will be invited to the bash, and in all likelihood, cellphones will be confiscated and social media use will be banned, in order to avoid another unfortunate incident with the press. 

The menu will include South African wagyu beef, served with beer and champagne, as well as a selection of the aforementioned tropical cocktails. Oh, and they even hired a wedding band, but it’s not just one of Harry’s cousins holding an iPod. It’s a steel drum band. This couple is just full of surprises.

Here’s one more detail about the after party I’m not quite sold on: There will be “ice luges filled with vodka” on hand. The couple might love to party, but I bet the Queen doesn’t appreciate it when people show up to their royal duties hung over.

Anonymous sources close to the couple (maybe one of the Queen's corgis?) reveal that neither Harry nor Meghan is “stuffy,” and they just want to host a celebration with a “festival and carnival vibe.”

Being a royal involves so much protocol (from the right type of pantyhose to wear to how to eat a scone) that we are fully behind Harry and Meghan having one more wild night before resigning themselves to a life of almost getting bit by ponies during military parades. Now if only we could get an invite—maybe by sneaking in under Princess Eugenie’s fascinator? We’ll let you know how it goes.