On 'Portlandia', a Couple Plan the Perfect Breakfast 12 Hours in Advance
Breakfast can be, if you have time to eat it, and you really should make time, a joyful occasion. It’s a time to eat bread, bread covered in cheese, eggs, toast, toast topped with eggs (possible cheese as well), coffee, tea, and the occasional pastry. There’s no shame in getting excited about the most important—and often the most satisfying—meal of the day. And if you do typically get excited about breakfast, you’ll probably be able to relate to Portlandia’s Peter and Nance, a middle-class, well-meaning, but still a little nerdy, Portland couple who decide to plan a breakfast feast 12 hours in advance, in a sketch from the upcoming eighth and final season of the show.
While eating a dinner of Chinese take-out with her husband Nance realizes that there are exactly twelve hours until breakfast. The pair list everything they want to eat in the morning: Steel cut Irish oatmeal, coffee, almond milk, rye toast, wheat toast, maple syrup—the works. Later, while watching television in bed, they agree to prep the kitchen for their feast. They grind coffee, toast bread, wash fruit, and Peter practices entering the kitchen, even counting the number of steps it will take him to reach the counter. They try to sleep, but keep waking up during the night to check on the breakfast spread they’ve set up.
When it’s finally time to eat, the couple realize they’re scarfing down their much-anticipated meal, so they decide to take extreme measures to make it last. Never underestimate the power of people who are passionate about breakfast. Of course, these types of antics are typical of the straight-laced Peter and Nance, who decide to start a bed and breakfast, have a severe fear of driving and at one point Peter even becomes addicted to pasta, hiding away in a hotel room where Nance can’t find him to eat bags of raw noodles in bed with the curtains drawn—which is probably the most relatable of their food adventures.