My skincare routine has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R.
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If you're old enough to remember the Oscar Mayer bologna song — the "My bologna has a first name" one — then you're old enough to have a bathroom cabinet filled with night creams and skin serums. And because sometimes literally nothing makes sense, Oscar Mayer itself wants to get in on your beauty routine. It has launched the first-ever Bologna Sheet Mask, which goes on sale today.

The limited-edition face mask wasn't produced by the Chicago-based cold-cut company; they left that up to Korean beauty and skincare company Seoul Mamas. As a result, the mask combines the best of both worlds: it has the hydrating, skin-protecting benefits that Seoul Mama regulars have come to expect, and it also, uh, looks like you've bitten a set of eye-and-mouth holes out of a slice of bologna.

Oscar Mayer Bologna Face Mask
Credit: Courtesy of Oscar Mayer

"Oscar Mayer has a legacy bringing levity to things that have gotten too serious, and beauty is a ripe territory to playfully subvert," Lindsey Ressler, a Senior Marketing Analyst at Oscar Mayer, said in a statement. "Inspired by those who used to playfully make masks out of their bologna as kids, this product was born as a modern-day way to spark smiles for fans of Oscar Mayer and beauty enthusiasts alike."

The masks retail for $4.99 each and they're exclusively available to purchase through Amazon while supplies last. The ingredient list for the hydrogel masks include witch hazel, collagens, and "seaweed-derived ingredients" to keep your face hydrated. And, according to the Amazon product listing, the whole bologna thing "induces unparalleled serotonin surges and a prolific amount of selfies." The packaging is also marked with a bright red, all-caps warning that reads "DO NOT EAT BOLOGNA MASKS." (In a very on-brand throwback to those commercials, they also say that their "bologna has a nickname and it's B-E-A-U-T-Y.")

If you're looking to lean into your lunchmeat lifestyle, Oscar Mayer is also currently accepting job applications for anyone who would like to spend the next year working as one of their brand ambassadors — and yes, that means driving their iconic Weinermobile to "meat and greet people from coast to coast." Anyone who would like to become a Weinermobile Spokesperson — aka a "Hotdogger" — should put a resume and cover letter together and check out their website for details on how to submit them.

And if you'd rather just wear a hydrating bologna face mask and drive around your neighborhood, that's totally cool too.