We don’t know how this bit of restaurant news slid by us undetected, but Troy had its grand opening last week. What is Troy, you may ask? Well! It is the Staten Island restaurant behind the greatest ad in the history of eating establishments. Stop what you’re doing and watch it now.

We don’t know how else to explain it other than it is like the fake plutocrat who owned the tiny giraffe in the Direct TV ad had a son who defected to America and decided to become a restaurateur. Is it funny accidently? Is it a Rhett and Link style local commercial that’s bad on purpose? It’s hard to say. In a two-and-a-half-sentence email to Gawker, creator Edward Izro explained: “I deliberately took an actor with an accent and it made the audience interested in a restaurant.” If that cleared anything up for you, let us know. We should note that Izro has made other similar commercials, like this one for what seems to be some kind of digital family scrapbook.

Amusing as the ad may be, it does not compare to the actual food they serve at Troy. We're dispatching a correspondent this weekend to check it out, but for now please, enjoy the grandiosity that could only come from the Empire of Taste.