This is not fake news.

Adam Campbell-Schmitt
Updated May 23, 2017

There’s been some sandwich-related drama brewing for the past few weeks in the town of Tonawonda, NY, a suburb north of Buffalo. It started with a strange encounter John Pawlowski had on his way back into the office from his lunch break. A man and a woman followed him all the way from the shady tree-lined street where he had just parked to enjoy a turkey and ham sub and proceeded to interrogate him as to why he had been eating there. It even made the local paper.

Okay, to be fair, this story actually starts much earlier than a few weeks ago. Pawlowski has been ordering the same sandwich and parking his car in front of the same house once a week for well over a year. The aforementioned couple had noticed him returning to the quiet boulevard and grown suspicious. They even went as far as alerting the police who, on one of Pawlowski’s lunch breaks, questioned him as well. He was able to show the officer an article that had been written about the incident with the nosy neighbors. The policeman laughed and let him be. Shortly thereafter another police car showed up to monitor the situation.

All of this because Pawlowski is a guy who like a few simple things: the subs from Tailgate Deli on Delaware Road, and a quiet spot to eat lunch, which he’d found around the corner on Zimmerman Boulevard. According a former town board member interviewed by The Buffalo News, the neighborhood watch is pretty active in the area, so it’s no wonder the poor guy’s behavior was noticed. Despite that, the owner of the actual house says she didn’t mind him parking there, in fact she didn’t really know about. When the story was posted on Facebook, she even went as far as inviting him to eat in a chair on her porch.

But all the attention and kerfuffle around one man’s respite from the doldrums of being chained to a desk all day has caused Mr. Pawlowski to reconsider his dining location options. At first, he was unphased, vowing to keep eating there despite the complaints, but now he thinks it may be time to move on. “I am torn,” Pawlowski told The Buffalo News. “It feels like an admission of guilt.”

In the meantime, the owner of the house has another suggestion for a secluded place to enjoy a meal in peace. "I sit in the cemetery," she says. "Nobody bothers you in the cemetery."