By Mike Pomranz
Updated February 23, 2016
Credit: Ben Queenborough

Compared to deadly red meat, chicken tends to be seen as a healthier option. Some might debate whether they are as healthy as vegetarian meals or fish. But one thing is definitely not up for debate: Chicken is not a vegetarian food or a fish—except maybe at Burger King.

Last week, Dave Warren, a British Twitter user, snapped a photo at a Burger King in Gravesend, England, that clearly showed a “Crispy Chicken Salad” filed under the “Veggie & Fish” portion of the menu alongside the “Veggie Bean Burger,” the “Veggie Wrap” and the “King Fish” sandwich. Cue Sesame Street’s “One of these things” theme song.

According to the News Shopper, when asked about the discrepancy, a manager replied, “It doesn’t say it’s just a vegetarian menu. It says veggie and fish.” Touché, Burger King manager.

Still, you have to feel the manager’s plight. You want to put the salads with the other healthy options, but you can’t call it your “Salad & Fish” menu because you have a veggie burger and a veggie wrap on there. You could call it the “Salad & Veggie” menu, but then where is your lone fish sandwich supposed to go? You can’t just have a “Fish” menu with one damn sandwich on it. And heaven forbid you have the mouthful of a “Veggie & Salad & Fish” menu. That’s just insane. Not as insane as calling a walking, clucking chicken a vegetable or fish, but you know what I mean.

Here’s my solution: Just name that part of the menu what it really is: the “Things Most People Never Order at Burger King” menu. Actually, I guess that is a bit of a mouthful, too, huh?