Comedien Hannibal Buress Is In the Non Napkin Group.There’s not ever a shortage of food controversies. Genetically modified crops; saturated fats: good for you or not really; Tony Bourdain versus Paula Deen. But recently I’ve become embroiled in something I call the napkin controversy. On one side there’s the Extreme Napkin group; on the other is the Non Napkin group. Choose your side.

Extreme Napkins. It’s not technically a napkin, but this is clearly where the napkin-obsessed crowd is going. I’m now infatuated with something called the Adult Bib, which I found on the website (another obsession). Here’s the description, which I really can’t improve on: “It’s hard to dine on messier foods when you're a Sophisticated Adult. Instead of starving yourself while the others get to eat ribs, seafood, caviar and escargot, you can quickly strap on your Elegant Adult Bib. These glossy, high-class Bibs are made from easily washable yet abnormally expensive-looking black vinyl with velcro straps.”

Non Napkins
. At Aziz Ansari’s very hilarious Hot Chocolate stand-up show in Brooklyn this weekend, the opening act Hannibal Buress (a Saturday Night Live writer who’s also hilarious) went off on a surprise rant. “I never put a napkin in my lap,” he said. “Because I believe in myself. I believe that I’m an adult who won’t spill food on himself.”

Me, I’m leaning toward the Non Napkin group.