By Joey Skladany
Updated February 16, 2017
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misfortune
Credit: © Halfdark / Getty Images

When is the last time your fortune cookie ever said something accurate, foretelling or even grammatically correct? Never, that's when.

To remedy the only redeeming part of a post-General Tso's chicken binge, German-based Pechkeks will be bringing their line of Misfortune Cookies to the US and Canada. The black cookies are filled with a bit of dark humor, similar to this Cards Against Humanity and Ok Cookie Co. promotion we enjoyed last fall.

Featuring over a thousand hilariously pessimistic and sarcastic messages, the carbon-dyed cookies have been a hit in Europe and Australia since 2013. The goal, according to their website, is to take these edible "crude, truthful and direct glimpse[s] into the future" with a "sense of humor." They're also the perfect gift for that person who "start[s] talking about skin cancer as soon as the first ray of spring sunshine peeks through the black clouds."

Some examples include:

• "Life is a symphony – and you're playing the kazoo."

• "At least I believe in you. Me, a piece of paper."

• "Things will get better. Sometimes. Maybe."

Rum-Mocha Walnut Layer Cake
Credit: © Dana Gallagher

Andreas Pohl, the company's CEO and founder, tells Confectionery News that the product will only retail in "cool shops" and "better chains."

"It's important that we're not a cheap product," he said of the brand, which only sources local German ingredients.

And what do the black, cynical cookies taste like? "Similar to normal fortune cookies, but maybe a little bit better ...We produce every two months, so we have fresh cookies in stock," said Pohl.

Related Video: An Epic Cookie Custard

Currently, the cookies retail at up to $1.58 per individual treat or $13.72 for a box of 13. But can you really put a price on laughter combined with the overwhelming sense that the world is about to end? No, no you can't.