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We're not quite sure what beef McDonald's has with its signature Big Mac, but the fast food giant will be introducing two new Big Mac sizes early next year: Mac Jr., a single-layer option, and Bigger Mac, a double-patty beast of a burger with a third of a pound of meat.

If we had to attribute the new offerings to anything other than disappointing sales in a competitive market, our money would be on the Wall Street Journal's revelation that only one in five millennials (typical fast food eaters) have actually tried the famous menu item with special sauce.

Does the original not have enough meat? Too much meat? Is it too unhealthy? Not as desirable as chicken McNuggets or all-day breakfast? We highly doubt that customers are leaving McDonald's saying "I'm still so hungry!" or "I can't finish my burger!," so we're not entirely sure where this Big Mac problem lies.

Perhaps this limited run of three sizes will give McDonald's the answers it needs, but a variation in taste seems like it would have been the more enticing change to a 49 year-old tradition.

Our recommendation is to take a page from Burger King's book and create some funky-flavored and dyed buns. That always seems to drum up some publicity with a younger, impressionable audience.