By Mike Pomranz
Updated May 06, 2016
Credit: © Elemental Studios / Alamy

Kids today face so many evils: drugs, violence..fruit.

Concerned with that last one, the Chinese government has announced it is cracking down on people live-streaming “seductively” or “erotically” eating bananas as part of a larger campaign to curb “inappropriate and erotic” content online. Specifically targeted are a number of popular Chinese live broadcast websites, which are difficult to monitor since the content is published in real time, that the Ministry of Culture says “harms social morality.” As much as I hate to side with China’s communist regime, I actually don’t completely disagree with them on this one. Young people need to get out from behind their computers and head into the real world. The sex is better there anyway.

As the BBC points out, beyond the complexity of monitoring live-streaming sites, going after activities with “sexual overtones” has a lot of inherent ambiguities. At what point does a eating a banana go from a snack to a sexually-explicit performance? And can other fruits and vegetables be erotic – like maybe a cucumber

Still, I can somewhat understand the government’s concern. Apparently, 60 percent of people creating content for these platforms are under 22 years old, and three-quarters of the people viewing these broadcasts are men. It’s proof that math can sometimes be even creepier than produce!