By Mike Pomranz
Updated April 22, 2016
Credit: © Windsor Court Hotel

Today is Queen Elizabeth II’s 90th birthday. If you live in one of the 16 or so countries that are currently under her rule, you probably find this news very exciting. (I’m looking north at you, Canada!) Meanwhile, if you live in the US, you’re probably like, “Whatevs. We kicked your royal behinds to the curb over two centuries ago.”

But at least one American pastry chef was inspired to make something royally excessive to honor the Queen’s 90th. Chef Shun Li, who works at the upmarket European-style Windsor Court Hotel in New Orleans, created a special birthday cake priced at $90,000 – or a whopping $1,000 for every year of Queen Elizabeth’s life. There is a bit of logic to the madness: Lizzy (as none of her friends affectionately call her) is from the House of Windsor… you know, just like the name of the hotel. Seems like a good enough reason to make a $90,000 cake to me.

What accounts for the cake’s massive price tag? According to Eater, the “mini dark chocolate cake is layered with a Cristal champagne fruit sauce made with raspberry and passion fruit, then covered in gold-covered chocolate, gold-covered strawberries, and a gold-dusted chocolate crunch. On top of that, the whole damn thing is 24-karat gold encrusted and topped off with a regal cherry in the form of a 3.95-carat ruby and diamond ring from a local antique store.”

Here’s some additional good news: The uber-expensive cake will be available for the next three months. So no need to jump on your private jet to get one today. And if you don’t own a private jet? Yeah, then you have no business spending $90,000 on a cake to begin with. Go back to doing whatever it is non-royalty do with their time. Playing darts or whatever.