I came to the realization (while grocery shopping for a week's worth of dinners for my family) that between cooking for the magazine and cooking for my family, I rarely get to cook for the sheer pleasure of it. The "hole up on a Saturday with that labor-intensive cassoulet recipe I've just been dying to make" kind of cooking. What luxury! For me, it has to be fast, flavorful, nutritious and appeal to five sets of taste buds (did I forget to add economical?). Grrr!

So when my coworkers, many of whom are single without kids, come in on Mondays telling of their weekend cook-fests, I'm more than a bit jealous. And my vicarious food-lusting after the F&W lunch club (Ratha Tep and Lisa Kim) borders on creepy: "Hey guys, what's for lunch today?" (all but drooling...) For them, it's steamed pork buns, mixed seafood stew and kimchi jigae (Korean pork and kimchi stew-and only my FAVORITE THING-which I make really, really well).

Do I want to be inducted into the lunch club? No. I'd be cooking for yet more people. Grrr! No, what I want is to miss that kind of cooking-that selfish, obsessive and narcissistic kind of cooking--so much that I have no choice but to ship the kids to Nana's, send my husband to Burning Man and cook all weekend long. And no, I won't share.