Rhett and Link of "Good Mythical Morning" put four unconventional methods to the test.

Adam Campbell-Schmitt
Updated August 29, 2017

We’ve all been there—slapping the heel of our hand on the back of a glass Heinz bottle, hoping to eke out the perfect glob of ketchup next to our French fries without completely drenching them in a sea of tomato-based sauce. And while your friends will try to help with tips like “hit the 57” or “use a knife” (nobody wants to use a knife, that’s cheating), it still crosses your mind that there must be a better way. You know, other than squeezable plastic bottles.

Rhett and Link, the hosts of Good Mythical Morning on YouTube have faced just that conundrum. They liken it to other stymieing food difficulties like poking the straw into a Capri Sun pouch, peeling the first string or string cheese, Or finding an unbroken Pringle toward the bottom of the chip can. In their typically over-the-top way, the pair decided to demonstrate four very unorthodox ways you might get your precious ketchup flowing in this morning episode of GMM, including a kick drum, an air compressor, a shop vacuum, and finally a ceiling fan.

The kick drum approach involves taping the bottle to the bass drum of a drum kit, aligning it so that the kick pedal perfectly pounds on the bottles embossed 57. The fries are placed below the bottle on the floor, and then Rhett gets to drumming and dribbling ketchup with surprising effectiveness.

The "onion ring volcano" method requires a balloon and an air compressor. The onion rings are placed on the bottle before a balloon is inflated inside using the compressor. Ketchup begins oozing like lava before the balloon, naturally, pops. Link suggests this method could be an entertaining alternative for restaurants that offer tableside guacamole preparation, and he might be right.

The shop vacuum approach involves sucking ketchup into a tube attached the vacuum's hose, then using the reverse function to blow the ketchup back out onto a paper tray full of chicken nuggets.

And finally, the ceiling fan tactic uses centrifugal force to eject the ketchup from bottles affixed to each fan blade. All it takes are some protective goggles, full-body suits and a whole bunch of plastic tarps for easy clean up!

Rhett and Link previously came by the Food & Wine offices where we challenged them to a game of "Will it Tower?," stacking bloody Marys, coffee mugs, and cereal bowls into Champagne tower-style pyramids with equally messy results.