Behold "spreadable gin."
"A plate piled up with very hot buttered toast, cut thick, very brown on both sides, with the butter running through the holes in it in great golden drops, like honey from the honeycomb," goes Kenneth Grahame's 1908 classic The Wind in The Willows—just one entry in a long line of children's books that extol the cozy comforts of toast. But 110 years later, British toast-lovers are taking toast's crunchy comfort in a slightly more adult direction, thanks to "Spreadable Gin," a gin & tonic marmalade that is exactly what it sounds like.
The gin-infused preserve from the London-based online retailer (who also brought you Spreadable Coffee, to give you an idea of their ethos) is made from sugar, lemon, water, quinine extract, and three percent artisan gin, so it indeed includes every part of the classic cocktail. Well, save for one: the process of making it cooks all the alcohol out.
Still, this hasn't stopped the $14 gin & tonic jam from selling out while still in the pre-ordering stage. Since shipping restrictions tragically prevent Americans from ordering it anyway, though, it's worth looking into the wonderful world of boozy jellies that are available in the USA.
If you want to start with a classic, your main option is Maintal, whose Red Wine Jelly runs just $16 for four jars—perhaps a few would make good gifts?
But for those whose tastes run in a rosier direction, Maintal also has an identically-priced four pack of Rosé Jelly for all your toast, cracker, and cheese-accompanying needs.
Perhaps the best accompaniment to get your spirits up for the winter, though, is welovejam's Peach & Bourbon Jam ($10), which adds lemon juice and zest to its combination of sweetness and Jim Beam.
Just remember, the alcohol does cook out, so if you're planning a boozy brunch, don't forget the mimosas.