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Because you still have four months until 'Game of Thrones' is back...

Mike Pomranz
December 05, 2018

It's probably safe to assume that, as a human who is looking at the internet right now, you're good at procrastination. But are you as good at procrastinating as George R. R. Martin is? Doubtful. Yes, Martin's books are long: A Game of Thrones was almost 700 pages, and all the subsequent books have been even longer. But the first four books were all released within a decade of each other. In the 13 years since he's only released one damn book in the actual series. That's procrastination!

Not convinced? Well, hammering home the point, yesterday, Martin's publisher Penguin Random House posted a video to its YouTube page entitled, "George R. R. Martin's Guide to New York City Pizza." The video is intended to promote Martin's latest book, Fire & Blood — which, for the record, is essentially a companion piece to the rest of the series… a.k.a. the kind of thing you write when you are procrastinating instead of just writing the next damn book!

So what does George R. R. Martin have to do with New York City pizza anyway? That's never explained in the video. (He was born in Bayonne, New Jersey.) That said, Martin clearly knows what he's talking about — or at least did his research. For Manhattan, he namechecks two of the most classic joints there are: John's of Bleecker Street and Lombardi's. (He says that a coal-fired oven is key.) Then, moving on to Brooklyn, he singles out likely the most famed pizza place in the borough: Di Fara.

But it's here where he reveals something very important: He says that, at Di Fara, "You have to, like, stand in line for three hours." So that's what you've been doing! We caught you! Bad George R. R. Martin! Get out of line and write the damn book! You're rich as hell. You can pay someone else to wait in line for you!

Okay, but seriously, if you've ever wondered what George R. R. Martin thought of pizza, this will be the most informative one minute, 54 seconds of your life. Enjoy. That's another two minutes you've killed while waiting for HBO to bring back Game of Thrones this coming April.

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