"Festival Pyzza" comes with two slices of cheese and a side salad (no dressing), all served in a styrofoam container.

By Mike Pomranz
February 01, 2019
Courtesy of Villa Italian Kitchen

With the recent release of two Fyre Festival documentaries on Netflix and Hulu, more details about the disastrous event have come out than ever before. And yet, one of the most enduring images from the doomed “luxury music festival” will always be the infamous cheese sandwich: two slices of cheese presented open-faced with a couple slices of bread. Now, with the renewed interest in the Fyre Festival — and hopefully a willingness to laugh about it in retrospect — the stunt-loving pizza chain Villa Italian Kitchen has decided to launch its own “luxury pizza experience” at participating locations nationwide… a new menu item called the “Festival Pyzza.”

Based off that viral cheese sandwich, Villa Italian Kitchen states that the Festival Pyzza is “made with only the finest fresh ingredients available including sauce made from California tomatoes, hand-stretched dough and premium individually packaged processed cheese product.” Additionally, it’s “served alongside a fresh garden salad of organic mixed baby lettuce varieties (dressing not provided).” And, yes, it’s even presented in a Styrofoam box. Villa Italian Kitchen also quips that its “for only the wealthiest consumers and industry influencers to enjoy” — and at $25 for the intentionally terrible slice, they aren’t kidding.

Of course, anything less than a thousand words isn’t as good as a picture, so feast your eyes on one of the world’s most disappointing pizza slices…

Courtesy of Villa Italian Kitchen

“We wanted to bring the high-end Bahamian festival experience everyone has been talking about lately to our customers nationwide who may have missed out on the real thing last spring,” Mimi Wunderlich, the director of communications for Villa Restaurant Group, explained with every possible sense of irony. “This pizza is so hot it’s almost worth incarceration for mail and wire fraud.”

Clearly, the whole thing is a joke, but you have to wonder, does Villa Italian Kitchen expect to actually sell any of these? “We expect to sell at least 5,000 based off nostalgia alone,” a spokesperson for the brand told me via email. But no rush, he quipped, “We will be ‘serving’… for six years.”

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