By Noah Kaufman
Updated August 07, 2014
Just a peanut butter pretzel lobster tail. Nothing to see here.
| Credit: Dominique Ansel Bakery

This morning Dominique Ansel, one of our favorite mad scientists of pastry released his latest creation: a soft-pretzel lobster tail full of peanut butter and butter-crunch brittle. It’s topped with Maldon sea salt and served with honey–brown butter. Sounds amazing right?

But for a lot of people on the Internet, the big news seems to be that it looks like a penis. Take a good long look at the picture up above. Now think for a moment about what sort of penis that would be. The answer is that it would be some sort of weird, messed up penis.

Listen up, people, any item that is longer than it is wide does not a phallus make. And the placement of what are supposed to be the little pretzel balls? That sort of arrangement doesn’t occur, to the best of our knowledge.

So this is the latest Internet Rorschach test, the food version of the Airbnb vagina from a couple weeks ago, which, while maybe not a great logo, was at best a Picasso–style rendering of the female private parts.

Let’s just agree that sometimes a peanut butter–filled pretzel lobster tail is just a peanut butter–filled pretzel lobster tail.

They will be available starting on Sunday at Ansel’s eponymous bakery for $8; limit one per person. As always, if you want one of Ansel’s new creations, it will be best to show up early.