You’ve always wanted to snuggle with a five-foot-tall replica of the Captain, right?

By Mike Pomranz
November 20, 2018
Courtesy of Captain Morgan

Not that every holiday gift has to be earthshattering, but sometimes, gifts just aren’t as fun as they could be because they’re too practical. Just because you need something, doesn’t mean you want something. So this Christmas, the spirits brand Captain Morgan is offering a gift that is completely unpractical—though whether it's something anyone you know will actually want remains to be seen.

On Cyber Monday—also known as November 26—Captain Morgan will be releasing a new, limited-edition, official Captain Morgan Body Pillow. “The Holiday season is meant to be spent cozied up beside your loved ones,” the rum brand begins. “This year, that includes the Captain.” Beyond being the perfect snuggle size at five feet tall and 26 inches wide, the “velour-fronted” pillow is also said to have “a loose, velcro arm for the softest of hugs.” You don’t have to be some sort of body pillow connoisseur to assume that all of those features are signs of a high-quality body pillow!

Adding to the intrigue, this Captain Morgan Body Pillow will initially go on sale in the Captain Morgan online merch store (CaptainMorganStore.com) for the limited-time price of $20.18. If supplies last past Monday, the brand says you’ll be paying $34.99 for your body pillow after that.

Of course, Captain Morgan is about more than just body pillows (assumedly), so the rum maker also wants you to know that you can already buy plenty of other holiday-themed Captain Morgan’s gear through the brand’s official holiday apparel partner Tipsy Elves. The Captain says they are selling “everything from ugly sweaters to onesies to leggings—and even a tandem sweater perfect for couples or best friends.” Or what about a tandem sweater that is perfect for you and your Captain Morgan Body Pillow? Come on, Captain Morgan…Stay on top of this stuff!

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