"The Whopper lives in a bun mansion, just like you." 
net neutrality whopper from burger king youtube video
Credit: Justin Sullivan / Getty Images

Say the robots take over. Would it really be that bad? If they're anything like the possibly-not-quite-sentient beings who crafted Burger King's latest series of ads, the answer is no, it would not be.

Yes, the fast food giant sent out a press release claiming it trained an artificial neural network to script Burger King ads by making it watch thousands of fast food commercials (and read countless industry reports). The little Don Draper-bot was then able to write dialogue like this: "Flame-grilled, just like you, with vegetables fresh and flying, just like you. The Whopper lives in a bun mansion, just like you. Order yourself today. Burger King, have it Uruguay."

It seems too funny to be written by a bot, right? Business Wire reports that the A.I. Burger King employed essentially simulates how a human brain operates. It not only recognizes patterns, it can "identify which of these patterns are more successful towards a given goal." If the endgame was to write beautiful poetry like, "It is a boy bird with crispy chicken tenders from Burger Thing," and "I want to grow up to be Whopper," then this possible-robot did great.

But, here's the thing. Back in June, a mock-up of an A.I.-generated script for an Olive Garden commercial (sample phrase: "lasagna wings with extra Italy"), written by comedian Keaton Patti made the rounds on Twitter.

Then, today, he posted this.

And Burger King's Global Chief Marketing Officer replied, "Hey, it was awesome to work with you. Love the campaign." So! It's possible that Burger King saw that Olive Garden script and either paid Patti to write their A.I. ads (which is actually pretty professional and nice), paid him to really feed 1,000 hours of BK commercials to a bot (seems like a lot of work), or fed those commercials to a bot themselves and asked him to consult on the project. Look, the only thing we know for sure right now is that "BK logo appears" is the best possible way to end any correspondence.