Dudes, don’t you hate shopping for yogurt? You go to the dairy section and see squeezable yogurt for kids and all the other yogurts (which, obviously, are for women)—but what about you? Where’s your yogurt? Good news: It’s here.

By Justine Sterling
Updated May 24, 2017
Spiced Strawberries with Yogurt
Credit: © Line Klein

Apparently, a few brands out there believe yogurt is just plain ladylike. So, in response to this made-up nonproblem, some deluded people invented brogurt. What makes a yogurt a brogurt? These masculine products come with masculine labels and are served in larger, more masculine portions than their fairer counterparts. Take, for example, Powerful Yogurt, which features a bull’s head on its black container. The label advertises its 8 full ounces and that it contains “more protein” (21 grams, to be precise). In contrast, a typical container of Chobani holds 5.3 ounces and delivers 15 grams of protein (making it slightly more protein-dense, math reveals). There doesn’t seem to be much of a difference when it comes to flavors. Men, it seems, enjoy blueberries and bananas no less than women or non-gender-conforming individuals.

America isn’t the first country to get gendered yogurts. Bulgaria has Danone for Men, an extra-thick, high-fat yogurt that can be eaten with a fork. New Zealand’s Mammoth Supply comes in an angular, cubic container. The label reads, “This is men’s yoghurt and you are a man. Now find a spoon, fork or spade and dig in.” And Polish gentlemen have Bakoma 7 Zbóż Men, which, like Powerful Yogurt, advertises its protein content to appeal to the masculine population.

In our opinion, yogurt is genderless and can be eaten, or better yet, made at home by anyone.