"Have you listened to the bread?"

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If you're stuck at your desk, dreaming of a leisurely lunch, but know you're just going to get stuck downing a store-bought salad from a plastic container, you can still enjoy the experience of eating at a restaurant from your workstation. YouTube comedy channel Super Deluxe produced an ASMR video that gives you the sensation of sitting down to a dinner date at the Cheesecake Factory.

ASMR, or autonomous sensory meridian response, is the term used for that tingling sensation you might get down the back of your neck when you hear certain sounds. YouTube is full of ASMR videos catering to the burgeoning demand for them. Heck, even Ikea made one to show off its products. Comedian Brandon Wardell is taking the sensation a step further by releasing an entire ASMR comedy album on June 1, which the below video was created to help promote.

For Wardell's dinner date experience, he mashes up two culty things into one: ASMR and beloved restaurant chain Cheesecake Factory. The result is a nearly ten-minute-long, one-sided conversation with the comedian as he takes you through the beginnings of a very awkward date. To start, he only speaks in whispers (a common ASMR theme) before asking "have you listened to the bread?" Wardell then rubs two pieces of the complimentary bread together with the hypersensitive microphone picking up the scratching of every crumb. He then taps on the restaurant's tome-like menu with his fingernails before launching into a reading of the "Our Story" page, detailing the history of the chain. He then starts reading the cocktail menu... and the entire menu, all in a whisper.

If that sounds boring, you're right. The "you" behind the camera in this video even takes a break to text your bestie about how poorly the date is going. Luckily, unlike some bad dates, this one has an exit strategy. When the waiter arrives to take your order, Wardell, who has been boasting about his $50 gift card the entire video, decides to cheap out on you before heading to the restroom. That's when this date ends. Sorry, no ASMR cheesecake eating. But, of course, that was already a video. If chewing isn't your thing, maybe check out this ASMR cheesecake baking video instead.