Who wants to take a trip to Rosévelt Island?

By Bridget Hallinan
March 31, 2019
Courtesy of Jordan Vineyard & Winery.

It's April Fools' Day, that tricky holiday where pranks run aplenty and you can’t trust anyone—including food and beverage companies. For the past few years or so, several brands have been pulling jokes on their customers to celebrate, like Burger King’s “Chocolate Whopper” and Bulletproof’s “Grass-Fed Butter Lip Balm.” 2019 is no different—so far, we’ve seen hot yoga pretzel studios and cottage cheese mixed with cannabis. Scroll through to see all the other funny pranks we’ve found, and remember to take today’s news with a healthy dose of skepticism.

Cabernet Air Jordans

Jordan Vineyard & Winery and Kickasso Kustoms have created the perfect shoe for oenophiles—Air Jordan XV Retro Cabernet Sauvignon Limited Editions, a.k.a. wine sneakers. This is half a prank: some of the shoe’s wackier features, like the insoles marinated in coq au vin (so your shoes always smell like a fine French restaurant) and smart soles that search wine reviews when you press your heel down “like a grape stomper” are fake. But the shoes themselves, and the 2015 Jordan Cabernet vintage wine they’re based on, are real. The sneakers are commemorating the wine’s release on May 1, as the winery’s first vintage in its five-decade history aged entirely in French oak, according to a statement. So a few select people (fans of Jordan wine) will actually get a version of these shoes, like Cam Jordan of the New Orleans Saints and LeBron James—“because serious wine drinkers need serious arch support.” 

Auntie Anne’s Hot Yoga Studios

Benjamin Egerland / EyeEm/Getty Images

Soft pretzels and yoga might not seem like an obvious combination, but Auntie Anne’s is going for it anyway by adding hot yoga studios to all 1,800-plus of its locations worldwide. There will be fresh-baked pretzel aromatherapy scents during classes, yoga instructors who will use pretzel-rolling techniques to help guests “achieve the right twists and turns to relieve stress and pain,” and pretzel-themed apparel from Auntie Anne’s Threadless shop for you to wear. If only these studios were real—we’d totally sign up.

Skinnyburger

Fatburger has decided to rebrand as “Skinnyburger,” according to a statement. If you go on the brand’s Instagram page, there are only a few posts, teasing that “a change is coming” before debuting the new “Skinnyburger” logo, stamped on merchandise as well as the food. One post read, “Only four months late, but new year, new us.⁣ Introducing the new skinnyburger, because it's never too late for a glow up, right? We've heard all your dm's and comments about your fave item and the skinnyburger comes up top. It's time to give you what you've been asking for.⁣” However, because it’s April Fools', it’s pretty safe to say this is probably a joke.

Rosévelt Island

Florian Trojer/Getty Images

Attention New Yorkers: Three Olives Vodka has decided that it’s going to rebrand Roosevelt Island to Rosévelt Island, where visitors will find “an endless buffet of Three Olives Rosé Vodka Spritz, local wines and rosé-inspired food,” according to a statement. The small island will be taken over by pink—pink walkways, pink fields, and even a pink tram to get to and from Manhattan. However, do know that if you end up making it to the island, you’ll find regular Roosevelt Island, since this is, you know, a prank.

Cannabis Cottage Cheese

Muuna’s cottage cheese is going plant-forward with its new cannabis cottage cheese. Each container includes low-fat plain cottage cheese, with a “sprinkle of food-grade cannabis on the bottom.” (That certainly beats fruit-on-the-bottom). As an added bonus, there’s 20 grams of protein and only 4 grams of carbohydrates. But unfortunately, this, too, is an April Fools' prank.

Noise-Canceling Noodle Headphones

Courtesy of Nissin.

Last year, Nissin’s April Fools' joke involved a pair of “Ramen Optical” glasses that had fog-resistant lenses, a fan to blow steam away, and a detachable fork—you know, for optimum noodle eating. For 2019, the company is stepping it up with noise-canceing headphones to get rid of those "pesky noodle-slurping sounds." The company collaborated with HyperX for the design, which looks like a regular pair of headphones—save for the giant Cup Noodles sticking out on either side. The ear pads are woven out of noodle fibers, and yes, there’s a detachable fork with this device too. But of course, it's not actually for sale.

“Let’s be honest, we’d never want to cancel the slurping sounds of Cup Noodles …it’s only the most beautiful sound on earth,” a statement reads.

Chief Biscuit Officer

Courtesy of Hardee's.

Looking for a job? Hardee’s is in search of a “Chief Biscuit Officer,” to make sure that every biscuit is made from scratch—considering Hardee’s sells more than 235 million biscuits per year, it sounds like an intense job. While it’s not a real position, if you do “apply,” you’ll be entered to win a free year’s worth of "Made From Scratch" biscuits. 

Pupbucks

Honestly, Starbucks stores made exclusively for dogs sounds like a dream come true, so it's a bummer this is an April Fools' prank. Check out the video about "Pupbucks" above, and get ready to see plenty of cute dogs (we'll take a "whole-grain beagle for a good boy" too, please!).

Shake Sauce

McDonald's is switching up its sauce offerings this April Fools' with "Shake Sauces," which, as you can guess, are based on the brand's different shakes—vanilla, chocolate, Shamrock Shake, and strawberry. If you're in the fries-dipped-in-shakes camp, this is for you. (But we'll probably stick to Big Mac Sauce.)

Edible Ice Cream Face Masks

We really, really wish this was a real thing, but alas, Halo Top's (edible!) ice cream face masks are an April Fools' joke. They come in three flavors—Birthday Cake, Mint Chip (which sounds so refreshing) and Strawberry—based on the hydrating properties of ice cream and "the unique exfoliating ability of sprinkles and chocolate chips."

The Super Dough Holder

Tired of not having anything to hold your Dunkin' coffee? Here's your answer—the (edible!) Super Dough Holder, made out of two giant Dunkin' donuts that will cradle your drink safely. It combines two signature Dunkin' products, and is "the first edible holder for your coffee" (probably because it's a prank). You can even share it with a friend!

Kimpton's Spring Culinary and Cocktail Trends

Courtesy of Kimpton Hotels & Restaurants

In case you’re wondering about the hottest cocktail and culinary trends for this spring, Kimtpon Hotels & Restaurants has you covered. The brand said it surveyed billions (!) of chefs and bartenders, scrolled through Instagram for hours, and conducted highly-targeted Google searches to come up with a comprehensive list. Coffee Grounds on Toast made the final cut, as did Salt Water cocktails (which are exactly what they sound like, straight from the Pacific), and Savory Shaved Ice (think flavors like Buffalo Blue Cheese). Check out the full (fake) list below—Succulent Steaks, anyone?

Culinary Trends

Coffee Grounds on Toast 

Keto Pasta 

Succulent Steaks 

Edible Plates + Cutlery

Sporks Make a Comeback

House Plants You Can Eat

Savory Shaved Ice 

Cocktail Trends

Salt Water

Putting the Bathtub Back in Bathtub Gin

Municipal Grass Takes the Mainstage

Micro Drinks

SodaStreamME

Soda Stream’s prank is a video collaboration with American astronaut Scott Kelly, where he discusses some surprising problems you face when you spend a whole year in space—including "extremely high carbon dioxide levels." Kelly is seen burping in the video while at the International Space Station, and wants to solve the issue. Then, he realizes that the carbon dioxide removal system at the station releases excessive carbon dioxide into the water, which, conveniently, reminds him of his SodaStream. So he decides to partner with SodaStream to make a new device—SodaStreamME—in which you blow your excess carbon dioxide and it gets turned into sparkling water. Unfortunately, this is not a real product, but you can check it out in the video above.

Red Licorice Straws at Red Lobster

The plastic straw replacement movement has been in full swing for a while now, and Red Lobster intends to hop on the bandwagon by introducing "red licorice straws"—the first pilot in the brand's effort to replace straws with eco-friendly alternatives by 2020, according to a statement. Other licorice straw flavors on the horizon include Cheddar Bay Biscuit, coconut shrimp, and lobster bisque. The jury's still out on how those would taste, but since it's an April Fools' prank, we'll never find out. 

Cauliflower Milk

While oat milk is starting to make its way into the mainstream, FreshDirect has a different idea—cauliflower milk, dubbed "Caulk." It's gluten-free, meat-free, nut-free (actually, it may contain nuts, according to the label), ingredient-free, soy-free, fruit-free, and 100 percent a prank.

Mr. Avo Head

For April Fools', Hasbro decided to replace Mr. Potato Head with Mr. Avo Head—a "hipster" avocado complete with a beard, glasses, headphones, and sneakers.

Pasta Scents

If you've ever wanted your room to smell like pasta, you're in luck. Banza's (prank) pasta scents come in three flavors: Linguine with Clams, Fettuccine Alfredo, and Spaghetti & Meatballs. While you can't actually order them, of course, you can use the discount code "APRILFOOLS2019" to save $4.01 on your next case of Banza.

Spry Gum

Courtesy of Spry Gum

Spry Gum has some interesting prank gum flavors for April Fools': Sour Cream and Onion, BBQ Wings, Smoked Salmon, and Roasted Garlic—if you’re looking for amazing breath, look no further.

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