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While it’s technically possible to turn your wine bubbly the same way they do soda—with the injection of carbon dioxide—it’s not a process you want to try at home. Or let your kid take the lead on. And maybe, if you’re truly committed to this bad idea, try it with a Chardonnay first?

Then again, using red does make for a speedy kitchen redecoration. We’re sure mom loved it.

You know what’d handle some of those stains? Seltzer. If only there were a device that could make regular water all fizzy! Some future this turned out to be.