Courtesy of Running Press Lisa Vanderpump from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has a new book out about entertaining, but the real highlight: Etiquette tips. Here, what to do when a man puts his hand on your knee under the table and more irony-free advice...

By Alessandra Bulow
Updated May 23, 2017

Courtesy of Running Press

As the Queen Bee on Bravo’s The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, UK-born Lisa Vanderpump, is known for her glamorous lifestyle, obsession with the color pink and adorable Pomeranian named Giggy (short for Gigolo), who has his own Twitter following. But Vanderpump is also the restaurateur behind two celebrity-frequented Los Angeles restaurants, Sur and Villa Blanca, and foodies will remember her from a cameo on the second season of Top Chef: Just Desserts, when contestants had to create a rose-colored party spread.

Vanderpump has parlayed her ultimate hostess reputation into a new book, Simply Divine: A Guide to Easy, Elegant and Affordable Entertaining (Running Press). The overwhelmingly pink manual includes photos of the famed housewife in pretty dresses and straightforward recipes, but we discovered an unexpected highlight: Irony-free etiquette tips on how to deal with less-than-divine guests. Here are some of our favorites.

Lisa Vanderpump on what to do when…

A man puts his hand on your knee under the dinner table. “Just pick up his hand, put it on the table in plain sight, give it a firm pat, and you’ll get your message across. If he keeps it up, then you have my permission to give him a little pinch on the inside of the thigh.”

A guest brings a hideous gift. “No matter what it is, tell them how very much you love it. Even if it secretly hurts your feelings, as in a joke gone wrong, don’t let on.”

A clumsy guest smashes an heirloom. “Immediately say, ‘It doesn’t matter. It’s absolutely not important. I didn’t like it anyway.' "

A tipsy guest spills a drink. “Even if you want to strangle them—which, trust me, I’ve wanted to do—tell them it’s no big deal. Just blot it up, cover it with a clean napkin and deal with it the next day.”

A guest won’t leave. "An 'Oh dear, everyone else has left,' or 'You must be exhausted' should do the trick."

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