The Smirnoff Christmas ornament bottle is probably too big to hang from your tree. photo: Courtesy

You probably don’t want to try hanging these bottles from your tree.

Mike Pomranz
November 09, 2018

Christmas ornaments tend to lean towards one of two extremes: They’re either beautiful, cherished heirlooms that have been passed down for more generations than A Christmas Carol, or they’re just random things you’ve collected over the years to take up space lest your tree look more barren than the one from A Charlie Brown Christmas. In that broad dichotomy, this new release from Smirnoff probably leans a bit towards the latter category: vodka-filled ornament bottles.

Believe it or not, the concept is even stranger than it sounds: Instead of ornaments filled with vodka that can be hung on your tree, these are actually regular-sized, 750-milliliter bottles that are shaped like ornaments. Needless to say, you’ll need a pretty serious branch on your Christmas tree to take the weight of a full bottle of vodka… or even an empty bottle. So these limited edition designs are definitely intended more as a decorative addition to your bar than as a literal ornament on your tree. That said, saving the colorful bottles – which also feature slogans like “Mix & Mingle” and “#BestGiftEver – for future decoration would at least be a step up from your college days when you displayed old alcohol bottles in the kitchen for no real reason whatsoever.

As for the vodka, Smirnoff filled the bottles with their 80-proof, triple-distilled No. 21 vodka. These giant ornaments have a suggested retail price of $12.99 and will be available at select locations where Smirnoff vodka is sold.

But back to the slogans, one bottle is even adorned with the phrase, “Don’t get lit. Drink responsibly.” That’s probably good advice when hanging around giant ornaments. You definitely don’t want to get so drunk you suddenly decide to see if you can actually hang a 750-mL bottle of Smirnoff on your tree. That’s a good way to destroy both your Christmas tree and a perfectly drinkable bottle of vodka.

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