By Noah Kaufman
Updated April 29, 2014
This Year's Kentucky Derby Menu Revealed
Credit: GETTY

On Saturday at 4 p.m. ET, the most exciting two minutes in sports take place at Churchill Downs in Louisville. Two dozen horses will be screaming around the track for a mile and a quarter, but the Kentucky Derby is so much more than just a race. It is an excuse for people to party at the track all day, and marks the only time the place is not exclusively full of people losing all of their money.

But even if you aren’t in Kentucky, you may well be at a Derby party of your own. And when you put on your best seersucker and head out, here’s who you will definitely be spending time with.

The Gambler


The Hat


The One Who Claims to Be from the South


The Horse Fan


The Post-College Frat Guy


The Julep Drinker