Today TMZ tracked down and published video of former Nickelodeon star and noted famous young person Ariana Grande in a Lake Elsinore, California doughnut shop licking the merchandise. In the same video she loudly proclaims she “hates America” after looking at a fresh tray of doughnuts.
Grande has since explained in an official statement that her words were taken out of context. When she said she hated America, what she really meant was that she hates how poorly Americans eat and “the fact that childhood obesity rate is the highest in the world frustrates [her].” Leaving aside the fact that that is not quite true (we’re pretty bad, but not the worst), the idea that a tray of doughnuts would suddenly set anyone, even a temperamental 22-year-old, on a path towards disavowing the United States is a patently ridiculous leap to make. Believing Ariana Grande is gross for rubbing her saliva on that tray of doughnuts though is not. She issued an official apology for six words, but has remained totally silent on the complete ruining of several perfectly good breakfast pastries. This is the darkest day for doughnuts since someone decided to make them out of ramen noodles.