The Worst Places to Poop in NYC
When you gotta go, you gotta go, but that doesn't make the situation any less horrifying in a major city like New York. Sure, it may be the concrete jungle where dreams are made of, but these dreams go to die if you've decided to hit up Ample Hills Creamery after a boozy brunch and/or night on the town. Check out the places you don't want to be if you've got that all-too-familiar rumble in your tummy.
These are the places you don't want to be
How many have you stopped at?
Museum of Modern Art
Considering the amount of foot traffic and resulting lack of privacy, you essentially become a piece of modern art.
A Times Square Starbucks
There's always a line, the door is locked, and there is only one toilet. You're better off ordering a quadruple shot of espresso and diverting your attention to jittery hands and heart palpitations.
One of New York's Many Crossfit Gyms
These guys take pre-workout with Creatine and eat a strictly paleo diet. Enough said.
Last Nights Hook Up's Apartment
And if he or she has roommates, don't expect a plate of bacon in the AM.
It's moments like these when the $75 clean-up fee doesn't sound too outrageous.
Becoming one with nature takes a sharp turn into becoming one with cramped stalls bearing the phone numbers of prostitutes. Or you're just stuck with a porta-potty.
You should probably consider putting the dairy items back on the shelf. A trip down the medicine aisle for some Imodium wouldn’t hurt either.
Any Lower East Side Dive Bar
The positive is that the terrible punk rock music will mask any sounds. The negative is that you will come across liquids in shades of green that you didn't know existed.
A Performance of 'Wicked'
"Defying Gravity" takes on a whole new meaning when you're *that* guy squeezing out of the row.
An A,C,E Line Subway Platform
In this case, you're just sh*t out of luck.