8 Food Items from Amazon's Handmade Store You Probably Don't Need
In the two decades since Amazon.com launched, they've managed to become an integral part of American consumerism (and surpass their namesake rainforest and river in the collective consciousness in the process). Of course, that kind of market domination doesn't come without critics, who lament the death of small business, the ability of websites to operate without sales tax and the imminent threat of drones accidentally dropping your intimate purchases on your neighbor's doorstep. Now, with the launch of their Handmade store, the online retail giant is taking a swipe at the little guy, or at least the littler guy: Etsy. For those whose homes are not decorated like the Portlandia set, Etsy.com is a vast collection of DIYers who sell their handicrafts online.
But now, instead of just relying on the Etsy community, crocheters, carvers and whimsical felt brooch makers can sell their wares directly through the biggest store in the country. Having an alternative was nice while it lasted.
Just like on Etsy, though, not everything Amazon Handmade offers is necessarily worth buying. Here's a look at eight food-themed items you can probably live without.
Submarine Wine Topper
This would be a great gift for a combination Beatles and wine fan. But if that delicate periscope breaks off, you're just stuck with a weird-looking goldfish.
Forest Cupcake Toppers
$28 (plus shipping) seems a little steep for some very specific cupcake toppers (unless you know a ton of lumberjacks celebrating birthdays soon).
"I Heart Pickles" Coasters
Technically there's just one pickle, so you've gotta really love a pickle to need these on your coffee table.
Kitchen Bottle Lamp
I guess if this light fixture somehow fits with your kitchen's Claymation-chic aesthetic, $260 is a steal.
Pineapple Wearing Glasses Print
I just don't like any pineapple that looks smarter than me.
"Mom You Rock" Pears
Because when you want to tell mom she rocks, you say it with inedible mantle pears.
If this pendant is actually chipped from an ancient, pictograph shopping list on a cave wall then that would make it pretty cool.
Astro Cat Mugs (Set of 4)
Cats in space? Cool! On a mug? Cool! $103? Not so cool.