It’s the trendiest time of the year. Apple held a big new product announcement event today, complete with a giant new iPhone, a good-looking smartwatch and a live performance by U2 (now that’s the kind of flair Tim Cook has been missing).
The iPhone 6 is scheduled to hit stores September 19 and the phone watch drops in 2015. Since that’s painfully far away, here are some things you can do to pass the time between now and then.
1. Say goodbye to your iPhone 5s (or 4s, if you’re a real loser).
You two had a good run together. But in phone years that brick in your pocket is 173, and it’s time to take it out back behind the shed. Try to remember the good times though. The time Apple Maps directed you to an empty parking lot in the most dangerous part of town. The first time you made a reservation with Siri. That time you cracked your screen and wouldn’t pay to get it fixed because a new phone was coming out in seven months anyway.
2. Print out pictures of all the iWatches and figure out which one is for you.
It doesn’t come out until 2015, but it’s never to soon to start figuring out if you’re a metal band or sport watch sort of person. We recommend taping every single design to your wrist and asking strangers which one looks good.
3. Memorize all of the stats that will make this phone better than the last one
You probably never knew how significant 0.7 millimeters could be in your life until Tim Cook told you they shaved that width from the new version.
4. Figure out what you’re going to eat the week after spending an entire paycheck on a phone.
With Apple’s new Apple Pay system you won’t need to use your credit card to buy $5 Footlongs from Subway. Apple Pay has also partnered with Walgreens, so you can stock up on antacid after eating nothing but meatball subs for a week.
5. Start complaining about the bad battery life before it’s cool to complain about the bad battery life.
You might not have your iPhone 6 yet, but you do know that it won’t run for nine days without being plugged in. Is that so much to ask? Surely technology has advanced to a point where our phones can run on a boundless source of energy.
6. Find the Apple store nearest you and park it.
Standing in line for days and days is a very underrated experience. Since 2007, 45 percent of American marriages resulted from two people meeting while waiting for an iPhone.
7. Volunteer at your local food pantry, shelter or public health organization
Kidding. Kidding. Here’s a video of people using the new iPhone you can spend your time on instead.