Setting aside the fact that losing just one screw will render your new Fjälkinge shelving unit utterly useless, there is a lot to like about Ikea furniture—especially when it is perfectly arranged in the company’s maze-like showrooms. And now some lucky people will have the chance to live in those showrooms. Temporarily. Partnering with Airbnb, Ikea is renting out three different rooms in a suburban Australian store.
Anyone who wants to book a stay surrounded by sleek Swedish modernity and utilitarianism can complete an application here. Just tell Ikea in 25 words or less why you should get the reservation. “Because I can’t put it together myself” is only seven words, by the way.
Never mind a luxury hotel or an adorable B&B. Spending the night at an Ikea would be the best. These are just a few things you’d have to look forward to.
1. Waking up to the smell of Swedish meatballs wafting to your bed area.
We assume someone shows up to start making these every day at 5 a.m.
2. No screaming children.
There is a 10th circle of hell, and it includes trying to buy a rug from Ikea on a Sunday afternoon. That’s when parents seem to love bringing their kinds on a fun outing to a furniture store. What these children really enjoy is crying so loudly you’re afraid the Billy bookcases will topple over from the sonic vibrations. This is your one and only chance for a serene experience at an Ikea.
3. Riding the furniture carts.
Up and down the aisles you go. If you black out the security cameras, you might even be able to live out our secret fantasy of riding the cart escalator.
4. Luxuriating in an actual matching set of furniture.
When shopping at Ikea, there is always one splurge. You can get the comfortable couch for $800, but it means the rest of the room is full of cardboard side tables with screw-in legs that never line up correctly for $5 apiece. Now you can finally enjoy the matching set. A Hemnes bed and dresser? Now that’s living in luxury.
5. Experiencing everything put together correctly.
Your entertainment center is slanted. Your coffee table has a fifth leg. You somehow managed to install all of your kitchen shelving backward. We all know the showroom is the only place Ikea furniture is actually put together correctly. Now is your chance to actually see what that looks like. This is a unique experience. It’s like seeing a panda in the wild.
6. Hunting for the secret Allen wrench vault.
We can’t prove it yet, but we’re pretty sure every time you “lose” an Allen wrench after putting together a chair, it is pulled by a giant magnet back to your local Ikea store where it is kept under lock and key while the employees all laugh at your sad attempts to try to find it in your junk drawer. If you have a better explanation than this, we’d love to hear it.