For those of you who do not believe the end is nigh, the enormous buckets of survival food sold by televangelist Jim Bakker might not be on your radar. But for years he has been pushing vacuum-sealed bags of powder he says will last 20 years, trying to entice would-be doomsday preppers with promises like, “Imagine: The world is dying and you’re having a breakfast for kings.”
If you thought that “breakfast for kings” line sounded overblown, it turns out you were right. The folks from Sploid bought up a lot of Bakker’s food and enlisted the help of private chef Greg Lauro to cook (we use that term loosely) and sample it.
Based on Lauro’s taste test it seems that when faced with a choice between eternal hellfire or Jim Bakker’s black bean burgers, you should definitely choose the former.